Mom, The Music Man--and More

So. It's been a while--but I've been busy, and so much has been happening. And quite frankly, I haven't felt much like writing. I quit an extremely punishing job, started a very challenging job...and in between, took off a little time to go and see Mom. It was so nice to spend some time with her--and Bill & Jack got to come down for a few days, too!

I took her in to UCLA for a "consultation" -- and I don't have a lot of good news to report. It looks like her MDS has progressed into Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, and this week, she's been experiencing shortness of breath, and little spots called called "leukemia cutis" -- places where leukemia cells sort of pool together right under the skin. They look sort of like a mole, or raised bruise. Smooth, but hard. So--it's moving outside of the bone marrow and the blood stream.

This week after her transfusion, instead of feeling great as she normally does, she felt incredibly weak and could hardly breathe. Phil even spent the night there on Thursday, just to keep an eye on her. A chest X-ray was taken on Thursday, but mom had not heard from the doctor about any results when I spoke with her today, so I don't know exactly what's going on.

When I tried calling her this morning, I was just short of full-on panic when she didn't answer. She called later, saying she was outside with Andy, who was washing her car. What a relief. I wonder if she heard it in my voice?

I'm at this place where I just can't stop crying. And while everyone who knows me knows how easily I tear-up, I'm really amazed at how poorly I'm handling all of this. I really thought that when it came to this point...to the possibility of having to say goodbye... that I'd be strong and ready and be an adult about it all. Sensible, you know? But I'm not any of those things. I feel small and weak. I'm not ready, not by any stretch of the imagination. And I cry at the drop of a hat.

I guess I really believed that I would be able to walk into this knowing that I came out of the experience of my dad's death fairly well.... Before he died, I kept thinking, "How will I walk? How will I breathe? How in the world will I even be able to function?" But God gave me this incredible strength. I greeted people at his service. I even gave the eulogy! I would have bet you a million dollars that I would have been falling apart, and would have never been able to do any of that. Like I feel right now. And I survived! But over and over in my head, I scream, I don't want to say goodbye. I am so not ready.

This is the woman who has driven me stark-raving crazy and yet means more to me than any other woman in my life. She has been there through everything. And there's been a lot! How do you say goodbye to someone who kissed you and made you feel better when you were sick, who put you through college....who helped you when you broke your leg and had your heart broken uncountable times? I won't be able to call her anymore when I have all those questions only your mom can answer. Who will I call now?

I guess the thing that scares me the most, and I mean scares me to the deepest parts of my soul, is: how do you live without parents? Nobody has known me longer, put up with more (although Bill's getting a LOT of experience in that department right now, yes??) or loved me like they have. I grieve my future without them. And my family's future. I feel like my life will be missing a color, my heart missing a huge piece of what made me "me".

Well, I didn't really mean to get into all of that here, but I just sort of poured out. Thanks for listening.

In the meantime...

Jack got his first "driving lesson" from Grandma, in the tradition of all the Abraham grandkids. Mom took him out on the golf cart in the grove, and he will never forget that. When she was done, Bill let him drive for a while, and he picked up a hitchhiker: Scooter! Note how they are both sticking their tongues out....

Here's Grandma, who made it through Jack's first spin around the grove. He managed to drive into just one tree.


And welcome to the latest role in the career of our budding thespian: he's a town kid in our church's incredibly elaborate production of The Music Man.
I don't think it's any coincidence that The Music Man is my mom's all-time favorite musical.

Yes--it's September

First Day of 5th Grade
Well I can hardly believe it: Summer appears to be gone...and Fall is in the air. The house is actually cold at night. The trees are starting to turn magenta and orange and gold. To seal the deal, we are actually going to a Seahawks game tomorrow. If that doesn't scream "Summer's over!" at you, nothing will.

We went to the Puyallup Fair on Thursday, for our annual "Get out of an Afternoon of School" day. Once, several years back, I was able to leave work early and I scooped up Jack and we went to the Fair. Now--it has become a family Fall requirement. I remember a sermon Earl Palmer gave one time, about how you do something once...and it becomes a Family Tradition. So true, but I kind of like it that way! Anyway. Jack got an elephant ear, and Bill & I each bought a WHOLE PIE at the Young Life pie booth. That'll help the diet!

Kari and Lisa are coming home from Africa today. It's been a loooong 2 1/2 weeks for me! Imagine how it's been for them.

Jack & Nick got parts in the Fall play: The Music Man. Jack, my little lotus blossom, is suddenly involved in everything: The Play! 5th Grade Choir! Boy Scouts! Safety Patrol!

Mentioning The Music Man reminds me that I need to give you a Mom update. (The M.M. is her favorite musical of all time.) Let's see: this week her platelets have ranged between 19,000 and 52,000. Her white blood cell count was alarmingly low a couple of weeks ago, but that appears to have righted itself. And when she went in for her whole blood transfusion last Saturday, Sept. 17, there was good news and bad news. The Good News was, it had been three whole weeks since her last transfusion. The Bad News was, her body was starting to reject transfused blood. I cannot find any kind of prognosis attached to this anywhere; all I know is this condition has a name, alloimmunization:

Multitransfused recipients of random donor platelet concentrates frequently form broadly-reactive human leukocyte antigen (HLA) antibodies which restrict the pool of suitable donors to those who are HLA matched with the recipient.

So what this says, I think, is, she can get blood that they call "scrubbed".....proteins are taken off of red blood cells, and/or white blood cells are removed (?). But in the short term, it means her wait in the hospital before a transfusion remains hours and hours and hours long, and very tiring. Before, she just had to wait forever to get regular old donated blood. Now, they have to find this special blood. Makes me a little crazy.

But: she did not need a transfusion this week, so a big YAY! and Thank You Jesus! for that.

Two and a Half Weeks

Today's the last day of vacation. Oh, how sad, sad, sad we are. Because we've been SO happy, happy happy without having to work. I can hardly wait for retirement.

Vacation began on August 19th at 5:30 pm. I hopped on a plane and flew over to Missoula to meet Jack & Bill, who'd spent part of their day golfing in the Bitterroot Valley. Jack stayed with his Nannie--Bill & I got to stay at the cutest bed & breakfast in Stevensville. One of the coolest features was the night light in the bathroom. It looked a lot like this:

What makes this so incredibly cool is that it glows a whole rainbow full of colors--it'll change from red to green to purple, etc. We really wanted to take it! But instead, we asked our kind inn keepers where they got it...and of course, the answer was: Costco. So now we have five of them in our house.

Anyway.

After a lovely time with our relatives, including a golf outing with my great grandfather (who completely waxed us--even Bill!) and a great float trip on the Clark Fork, we came home, did some laundry, and headed down to Laguna. The weather was perfect. Jack worked on his sand castle building and I worked on my tan. Bill worked on...well, nothing. Which is the whole point of a vacation, yes? One fun element to it all: we rented a Toyota Prius. It was very fun, and very cool to drive. We averaged 40-miles to the gallon, which was fabulous, since gas in California costs even more there than it does in WA!

We ended up heading over to Riverside a little early: mom needed both whole blood and platelets just one week after her last transfusion. Very scary. Phil called--and we went straight to the hospital Friday evening. She ended up spending the night in the hospital, since it took them SO LONG to get the necessary blood & platelets. (Note to Parkview Hospital: it is NOT good customer service to leave an elderly woman with leukemia waiting for EIGHT HOURS to get blood. And this was not the first time this has happened...) But she felt pretty great on Saturday, since she was back on "full"... and we had one of the best weekends with her in years.

Welcome to the AbraHAM's! Mom made us the best ham we'd ever had. And...I learned the secret of the 3 Bean Salad: Equal parts sugar, oil & cider vinegar. 

Chipper's Clocktower Kitty Condo. 

Jack knows how to crack up his cousin Andy. 

Grandma, Andy & Chipper 

Before..... 

....after. I could have wrung out my shirt and my pants. We were dripping wet! So Jack deemed this the best ride on the California Adventure side. 

The happy family at California Adventure.  

Bill always says I drive too close to the people in front of me. Jack now agrees. 

Jack conquered his fear of the Matterhorn. He deemed it his favorite ride in all of the Magic Kingdom! 

The Bug Boy. 

The fireworks at Disneyland were spectacular. This is a Lego artist's rendition. Pretty cool, yes?

These goofy photos were taken in the "A Bug's Life" attraction. It was a 3-D movie complete with splashes of water, pokes from your seat, and the smell of stink bugs! 

And so ends a truly perfect vacation. This was the last ride of the day...before we headed over to our lovely room at the Disneyland Hotel. 

Paella Party!!!

Kari's brother, David, and his wife Mieko came back from Spain a couple of weeks ago with an authentic paella pan--for me! It sat in the trunk of Bill's car, until Saturday when he brought it in the house and I said, "Let's have a paella party tonight!" I went on-line to find The Recipe...but ended up co-mingling several in my attempt to make the Ultimate Paella. And this is what it looked like after much shopping & chopping. And if I may say so, it tasted as good as it looked.
Here's how we put it together.

The beauty of diced onions with chopped garlic. Tomatoes at the top. 

Chicken and pork bathed in a little salt, pepper and oregano. 

Let the cooking begin! 

Kari is usually not allowed to use a knife in my kitchen, due to the "Scary Knife Incident" where she ended up passed out cold on the tile floor after cutting herself a couple of years ago. But this knife was just dull enough that I thought she could handle it. Just this once. 

Check it out--I actually found "Paella Rice"! 

Tom & Lisa sip a little Sangria while awaiting dinner and talking business. Sugar & Mocha provided the pre-dinner entertainment.

Mocha! What are you DOING! 

Dueling cooks, dueling burners. I had so much meat and seafood that it was very apparent from the get-go that this was going to be a 2-pan operation. Note how I have not moved Mocha's water bowl from under me. I don't know why.